The article review(文章导读):2003年9月考试四级作文题：The Day My Classmate Fell Ill (or Got Injured)
提纲：
1.简单叙述一下这位同学生病(或受伤)的情况
2.同学、老师和我是如何帮助他/她的
3.人与人之间的这种相互关爱
Text(正文): 2003年9月考试四级作文题：The Day My Classmate Fell Ill (or Got Injured)
提纲：
1.简单叙述一下这位同学生病(或受伤)的情况
2.同学、老师和我是如何帮助他/她的
3.人与人之间的这种相互关爱给我的感受是……
例1. (2分段)
One day, we are all in classroom. Wang fang said, "Oh!" We all see her and found that she was crying! Teacher
turned to ask her what was wrong. She said, "I do got a fever, my head is very hot!" Feng Gang sent she to hospital,
we all followed they. In the hospital, doctor Wang give a inject to her, she gradually calm and not hot as before.
We all thanked the doctor.
点评：未能按照题目要求写，没有着重写"同学、老师和我是如何帮助他/她的" "人与人之间的这种相互关爱给我的感受是……"
。条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有错误，有的甚至影响理解。
原文修改后：
One day, when we were all in classroom., Wang fang Suddenly cried,, "Oh!" We all looked at her and found that
she was groaning. Teacher turned to ask her what was wrong. She said, "I have got a fever, my head is very hot!"
Immediately, our teacher sent her to hospital, and we all followed them. In the hospital, we asked doctor Wang
to give an injection to her, and she gradually became calm and not as hot as before. We all thanked the doctor.
The day has passed, but it is clearly in my mind. I think if we can do things like that in the incident, the
society will be better, and the relationship between people will be better as well!
例2.(5分段)
Last week, li ning and I studied in classroom. Suddenly, lining said to me that he had a headache .I asked he to
see doctor. he said it was not bad. After 5 miniuts, lining sai to me his headache very serious. So I helped him go
to hosptial.
Students and teacher heard lining went to hosptial, all of them went to the hosptial. Some teacher asked lining
dont worry, it will be good .Some students asked lining take care of himself. lining said that he was very moved.
Thought this things, I think a lot .The world is beautiful, because the love filled in it .people can help each
other when who are in trouble.
点评：本文基本切题。语句衔接不自然，简单句使用得太多，有些表达不太准确，有明显的中文痕迹。要加强衔接词的运用，单
复句的转换，句式的多样化，还有语言基本功的训练。
原文修改后：
Last week, Li ning and I studied in classroom. Suddenly, lining told me that he had a headache. I asked him to
see the doctor. he said it was not so serious. After 5 minutes, Lining told me that his headache became worse. So I
helped him go to hospital.
When Students and teachers heard that Lining had gone to hospital, all of them went to the hospital. Some
teachers asked Lining not to worry and to take care of himself. Lining said that he was very moved.
Throught this, I think a lot.The world is beautiful because it was filled in love--people help each other in
trouble.
例3.(8分段)
One day there is a student who was isolated for infectious disease. We and our teachers are concerting about his |
